HIS LIFE AND TIMES
Puget Sound lies on the serene coastal ranges of Washington state. It is home to a diverse array of rare animal life, such as bat bass, ball fish, wumpuses, coffee-drinking mermaids and treefaring octopi. It has a vibrant local culture and is an excellent spot for fishing or sailing. The sound spans roughly a thousand miles and brings the characteristic charm and way of life to the surrounding cities, Seattle chief among them.
Today, it is hard to imagine the sound as the barren, desolate and dry country it once was. Not to mention, it would have likely remained that way if not for one remarkable engineer—Billy Puget. In fact, Paul Bunyan, himself, rendered invaluable assistance, as a subcontractor to Mr. Puget, with many large-scale projects in the vicinity, such as Billy excavating Puget Sound and erecting Mt. Rainer. He was also there for Dad Hood digging the Hood Canal and Old Man Elliott constructing Elliott Bay.
Billy Puget (born William Peters Puget), also known as William Puget, Peter Puget, Old Man Puget or simply Mr. Puget, is a name what falls on many deaf ears today.
Did you ever hear of old Billy Puget?
No? I didn't reckon so. Well, Billy Puget, he was the one who what built the sound, y'see? Puget Sound, that there big old millpond out someways, it was not always there. Some folk, shucks, they, figure Puget Sound was all natural like, but, no sir, it weren't, not by a long shot. See, some those fellas they take everything for granted. But matter fact is if old Billy Puget, he, hadn't built Puget Sound, then all of them what live on the sound, well, they be stranded, y'see?
Billy Puget was a engineer, what he was, he was a engineer, and a right bright bulb of a contractor. Well, Billy Puget got the contract for making the sound. No easy task, no doubt. But, sure enough, Billy Puget was right bound and determined to succeed. Well, there was the matter of the logistics of the thing, what where he get the water and all. But Mr. Puget, it's like I told ya, he was 'bout the sharpest tool in the set, and sure enough he figure it all out. And, back them days, folks, they were right appreciative, they were, y'see? Just take a gander at thisen here from 'bout 1916:
“Summer is here.
The European war is going on as usual. Most of the Seattle boys are working every day and enjoying the benefits of our excellent new agreement.
And all is well along the big ditch dug, or discovered, by old man Puget.”
— C.H.H., “Seattle, Wash.,” The American Photo-Engraver, Vol. 9, No. 1, p. 312, December 1916
Folk back then they, well, they weren't just gonna accept that there Puget Sound just come up right down from nowheres, no sir. Yes sir, Billy Puget excavated that sound, what he done, usin' the most modern equipment of hissen day and the most sophisticated scientific methods. But, occasionally, there are those what remember and give credit where credit is due.
“Some residents of the Puget Sound area wryly tell tourists that in the very early days a certain Peter Puget was hired to dig Puget Sound. He was an energetic excavator and took pride in neatness as well as efficiency. To avoid cluttering up the landscape, he put all the dirt from this large basin in one huge pile, which was later named Mount Rainier. Then came Paul Bunyan who contested Peter's contract. Nothing much came of the argument except that Peter, in a rage, began throwing dirt back into Puget Sound, thus building the San Juan Islands. ”
— Leonard C. Ekman, Scenic Geology of the Pacific Northwest (1962), p. 44
Now, somedays, what when the mountain is out, one can look and might could spy the lines on the earth what prove what Billy Puget done for this part of the country. There is also them what say that Paul Bunyan help Billy Puget out by pullin' a glacier in down from Alaska, he hitchin' it to that big blue ox what he got, but I don't know nothin' 'bout that.
But what I do know is Billy, he was a hero what he was, he was a hero. Yes sir, ain't it the truth? If there was anyone what should have his picture in them history books, why, that be Billy Puget, sure as the sun sets right on over the sound.
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TALL TALES
‘The most superficial investigation shows the absurdity of the claim that some gigantic troglodyte dug Crater lake,’ says the financial savant.
... the decapitated structure of which now holds Crater lake, a formation that they [Chambers and others] believed was an oil dome [a safeguard on an oil well constucted to prevent leaks] ...
Barney Chambers says that Beard's ideas are bosh. He sticks tenaciously to the theory that the petrified remains [in his store] are part of the skeleton of prehistoric Billy Puget, who dug Puget Sound and then started southward seeking new fields for his engineering enterprise but perished from unknown causes after excavating the Lower and Upper Klamath lakes and making a start of Crater [Lake].”
— Anonymous, “Scientific Dispute Waxes Hot, Was Crater Lake Once Oil Well,” The Evening Herald, August 30, 1921
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— Anonymous, “Irrigation, Etc.” The Pacific Builder and Engineer, January 6, 1912
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— W.L. Bartholet The Seattle Star, November xx, 1920
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[ DISCLOSURE: THE FOLLOWING IS REAL!—believe me—READER INDISCRETION IS ADVISED! ]
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